Today would have been your birthday. You would have been 79 years old. I miss you so much. I would do anything to have you here, or have one more day with you. I wish you could have seen me graduate high school, and college. I wish you could have seen me start my first teaching job. I wonder what you have thought about me being a teacher and not an actress. I know you would have been happy and proud of me as long as I was happy. You were always so amazing and kind. I miss your voice. I miss your advice. I wish I could talk to you about boys.
I hate that you are not here. You not being here still makes me cry. Every year, twice a year, on the anniversary of your death and on your birthday, it hits me like a ton of bricks and I can’t breath and all I want is to have you here and have you hold me. I loved our daily movie nights with dinner and ice cream at home. I loved living with you. I loved watching jeopardy and American idol with you. I loved reading you my scripts that I was writing at the time. I loved having you as my best friend.
I wanted more time. I thought we had time. You died when I was 15 and now, I am 23 years old. They say the pain fades, no it doesn’t and I don’t think it ever will. You are missing so much of my life. You are going to miss being at my wedding when I get married to whoever, me having kids and me opening my own school. I hope you are proud of me.
I love you and I always will.
Thank you for influencing my life and changing it for the better.
I miss everything about you. The stories I wish I could tell you.